Heres my story(plz dnt judge me)?

my name is ericka n i am a mother of derrick jr. 8 months old and a mother of a baby on the way i started having at 14 years old i was veryfast i was already having bad in school i had over 10 boyfriends at 14 yes i had with them alli was only like this because of my childhood it was so messed up really i never had a mother to be there for me.Then i got pregnant with my son then i was a single mother drerrick the dad could not be faithful he was always messing around on me with my friends actually my best friends just about 1 week ago i lost my mom derick druged her even tho she was alredy on drugs but he killed her he is in prison for 4 5 years im glad its sad my kids have no grandmother im losing my mind i dont know wat to do help me([PLZ)!